Stallone To Make Another Rocky, Premiere Offers Advice

 

Sylvester Stallone has reportedly informed Tele5 Germany that he's beginning work on a 7th Rocky movie. This is on the heels of the almost completed shooting of the fifth Rambo movie.  Stallone has managed to elude both cinematic and real-life logic on his way to hauling in $155 million for the modestly budgeted Rocky Balboa ($24 million), so we can't count him out just yet. But, didn't they close the book on the franchise at the end of the last film?

We're not trying to spoil it for those of you who haven't caught it on the perpetual cable loop, but he waves goodbye and fades away. This made us think the scrappy ol' pug may be a little forgetful. Rather than speculate possible plot points for Rocky VII we figure it best to remind The Stallion of what he can't do...because he's already done it already:

• End the Soviet Union (Rocky IV)
• Wrestle Hulk Hogan (Rocky III)
• Incur brain damage and teeter on the edge of financial ruin (Rocky V)
• Buy a leather jacket with a tiger on it (Rocky II)
• Experience a life-altering montage while driving a Lambo (Rocky IV)
• Bail Paulie out after he drunkenly shatters a Rocky-inspired arcade game (Rocky III)
• Participate in a virtual boxing match on ESPN (Rocky Balboa)
• Hang with the Taliban. (Oops. Our bad. That's Rambo III)
• Neglect his annoying dangling-earring-wearing son in favor of future wash-out Tommy Morrison (Rocky V)
• Inspire his older, but still very annoying son, to "keep moving forward." (Rocky Balboa)
  
• Own a robot butler (Rocky III)
• Perform a bunch of exercises in a barn that look cool but have no boxing-conditioning value (Rocky IV)
• Uncomfortably hug Apollo Creed on a beach. (Rocky III)
• Win the Academy Award for Best Picture of the Year (Rocky)

Comments

[tabriz]

Rocky movies are my movies, i trained everyday and now everyone calls me rocky. and they think i am indestructable i am a rock i can’t be cut.